FLAT TIRE YESTERDAY!

Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I ease my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully get out of the car and open the trunk. I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe!They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts tothe approaching drivers. But to my surprise, cars start slowing down looking at my lifelike men.And of course, traffic starts backing up. Everybody is tooting theirhorns and waving like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulls up behind me.He gets out of his car and starts walking towards me. I could tell hewas not a happy camper!'What's going on here?''My car has a flat tire', I said calmly.'Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by theroad?'I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him, 'Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!'AND THEY THINK I'M A Dumb BLONDE!!

Someone Help Me!!!!

Ya know guys, i'm sitting here pretty lonely tonight...i am acutally crying while trying to type..
I guess i shouldn't be lisiting to Deliha..she plays pretty sad songs...I pretty depressed that i come home to an empty house every single night...is there something wrong with me that I can't keep a boyfriend? Yes ...i do admit i am the one who ends it 99% of the time ..but still this pretty much sucks ass...i think I better put on a heavy metal channel on the radio and TURN DELIHA THE FUCK OFF.. "The Girl" wish you were here smokin "smokes" with me..I need some company and if the angels (dogs) can talk i'd be alright! LOL LOL

As I'm sitting here....

Hi Peeps , Happy Hump day and hope it's going well and fast for everyone..

As I'm sitting here breaking another resolution..Yes I'm having pizza for lunch..UGH!!

I am wondering where do I get a Tee-Shirt that makes my ass look great like "The Girl's"

I Need one, I want one!!

Tonight the construction guy is suppose to come tonight to Finish what the other one "t" was supposed to do..Hear come to find out..that Timmy (the painter) told Tony (the boss), that I can go fuck myself ..He isn't doing it because Of New Year's eve and I'm being a total bitch about it...HELLO YOU STARTED A JOB, FUCKIN FINISH IT ASSHOLE..Go Figure...He fucks me over and I end up the bad guy..Well Fuck him!!!! I already have a friend who is going to kick his ass over this and get my money!! So he better look out...UNCLE KNUCKLES IS COMING FOR YOU T!!!

Well That's about it for now!!!

Nightmare Constuction Crew...

Hi everyone,
I know i'm blogging like crazy tonight..I'm sitting here reading and enjoying people's blog's getting to know knew ones and guess what...There's a knock on the front door! Now remember back a couple weeks ago , I had a breakfast bar put in my house...And well to make a short story short...There were 2 guys on the job (one my friend T who also stole my sleeping pills while on the job) One is to do the acutal labor , cut the whole in the wall and put the trim up and so on..the other one "my so called friends" job was to just paint/stain it when it was done...Well the job got done (the cutting part and trimming) and all that was left was to paint..Well the painter never came by and finish my job...i was calling him and leaving messages and he would say..Oh suzie i'll be down tomorrow, well tomorrow never came..Well on New Year's eve ..I had a couple of drinks in me..I called, well he blew me off..was like saying..Ok...Ok..Ok..and hung up on me..Well me...I called his mother fucking robbing stupid ass back and guess what his bitch answers to phone and proceeds to call me a Whore, slut every name in the book..Well he is a cheater and I know this I used to date him..but we ended up staying good friends ..until now that is....She thinks i'm fucking her man..they get into a hugh fight and BREAK UP! LOL STUPID BITCH, I'M NOT FUCKING YOU MAN...YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM FOR NOTA...WELL I'M SURE HE DID SOMETHING..LOL...Anyway the first guy just knocked at my door...And he is coming tomorrow to finish what he paid T to do....He was sooooo sorry he said..I am going to have work on my kitchen and this guy still wants to do the work and says to me, I won't hire T this time...I'll bring another guy...Now Question: Should I trust him..He did come back after he heard T never showed up to finish..
Hmmmmm....Something for me to ponder...

OMG ...MY NEWS RESOULTIONS...

OMG peeps I just started my Resoultions for the new year today....

I fucking broke 2 of my rules already! LOL LOL LOL

I had a pc of bread (sis , the loaf you gave me sat. night)...I MUST THROW THIS AWAY NOW

OR I WILL EAT THE WHOLE LOAF TONIGHT..smoke, smoke....

And

I am having a beer....well many beers...But hey atleast I'm home and not at the bar right!!

Oh well tomorrow is another day. Just thought I share that with ya's..lol

Peace out!

The Mailman!

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual
route.
As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in
the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out
with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
"Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night," the
mailman comments.
Bob, in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is
the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning.
We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over and it got a
bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk, around midnight we started playing WHO AM
I."
The mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?"
Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a
sheet covering us and only our "privates" showing through a hole in the
sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."
The mailman laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."
"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up four or
five times."