Wednesday, November 12, 2008

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE!!!!!


NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Still Cryin

Hi Sis and Efen,
Thanks guys, and no Efen ...me not mad at you......
And yes i'm still f'n crying...I know I have to let it go..but it's 2 hard..
One day good, one day bad...
I think he shoulda never of called me if he had no intention on callin me back.
Cause he called when I was down the shore last month and He said "Well I didn't know you
were down there, So i'll call ya back" ...No he didn't call back....And B..the (so called) friend..She started this whole thing by tellin me what He was saying and now all the sudden she don't really talk to him much...I know what your sayin Sis about that...but she should of never called me that day and told me everything he says...but don't say anything to her about it....
Any way I'm gonna drink me a beer and smoke a "J" (cops , just kidding) maybe that will help a little....You guys are the best thanks for the advise!!! Hope you guys have a great night...
Kisses and Tootles!!

PRETTY ANNOYED TODAY

I am pretty annoyed today..As you all know, I HAVE NO LOVE LIFE AT ALL AND IT BLOWS..
The one person I really really care about is basically staying with one of my (so called) friends off and on until he finds out what he's going to do with himself...She used to tell me all the time, that he asks about me and to tell me Hi and asks how i was doing...This has been going on since December (her giving me info on the man I love)...But now it seems like she never has anything to say anymore...If I ask her what's going on with him...she'll say something like, oh he was at my house but i didn't really talk to him....as a matter of fact she just said that to me a couple of minutes ago.....I don't understand..I would tell her what I knew...Now i can't stop crying and it blows....Now she tells me NOTHING.....I am really starting to f'n hate her guts for putting me though this...Anyway...Fuck everythink I don't f'n care anymore......Don't act like my friend one minute and then diss me the next...(And yes Sis , you know who I am talking about)...She knows i want to know what's up....But no she won't tell me anything, I don't care if it's good news or bad...She started this by telling me what he was saying and now it stops...I'm mad....

NO RUNNING IN THE HOUSE.....TRUE STORY




Wow! I don’t know if he fell while running or if he fell asleep while eating … definitely going to be a story for this kid for the rest of his life.



How many times have we been told...and have told our children...

NOT to run in the house? Did we always listen? Do they listen? Not always.

Sometimes our seemingly futile efforts fail, and 'boo-boo's' happen.

Here is a little guy who didn't listen, and he got his own souvenir scars.

Perhaps he'll learn from his mistake. Maybe....Doesn't look too bad. But perhaps he should keep this next photo handy to explain the way it happened!......scroll down

owowowowowowowowowOwOwowowowowowowowowOOOHHHHH!!!That's GOTTA hurt!!!!(pic taken in the emergency room)

EASY COME ...EASY GO...


Well Had a very disappointing night last night...Here is how it all began..

I had to Work on Sunday at the club..Didn't feel like getting up and going in..but Daddy is the boss and can't let him down..So I drag my ass out of bed and get going.....They put a new gambling machine in work and it was pretty cool...So I decided to give it a try....Only put in a buck and started playing 5 card Poker...Was winning like crazy, Straights and 3 of a kinds and all sorts of great hands.....I stopped becuase i raked up 14,163 points....Micheal and Mona were there and they were so exicted that I just won $708.15 bucks....My dad came in (as he always does on Sunday's) and I told him and he verified that YES IT WAS A WIN...AND I INDEED WIN THE 708.15 DOLLARS..Well I was in HEAVEN all day, singing and dancing my way through work...My dad said to come in on Monday Night ( last night) to collect my winning...I was sooo happy all day yesterday thinking...WOW...THAT MONEY JUST GOT MY OUT OF A HOLE I WAS GETTING INTO...So I go into the club and right away...My Dad and STeve are like...

Susan...we have bad news..you DID NOT win 708.15.....You only won 7.00 bucks...they explained how to play the maching to me WRONG...Do you fucking believe it....My dad felt soooo

bad for me..I was this close () to crying my eyes out....The disappointment was so overwhelming..I just fucking sat there and got drunk... and Yes VERY HUNG OVER THIS MORNING AND IN WORK....BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Peacock


took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he wasWatching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair inAll different colors: green red orange and blue. My dad kept staringAt him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had had enough he sarcastically asked'What's theMatter old man never done anything wild in your life?'

Knowing my Dad I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke On his response knowing he would have a good one and in classic style He did not bat an eye in his response. 'Got drunk once and had sex with A peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'

Generous Drunk and Happy Monday!!!!!!!


This drunk gets more than he bargained for when he buys everyone in the bar a drink
A drunk walks into a bar, goes up to the bartender, and says, "I wanna buy everyone in here a shot of whiskey - and include one for yourself, my good man." The bartender pours shots for everyone, says, "hey, thanks, pal," and downs his shot. The drunk drinks his shot and says, "what do I owe ya?" Bartender says, "that'll be 45 bucks." The drunks says, "oh, gee, I don't have any money," so the bartender beats the crap out of him and kicks him out of the bar. Next day, same bar, same bartender, same drunk - "I wanna buy everyone in here a shot of whiskey - and include one for yourself, my good man." The bartender figures there's no way this guy can be stupid enough to try the same stunt two days in a row, so he pours the shots, drinks his and says, "okay so 45 bucks from yesterday, plus 52 for today, makes 97 bucks." The drunk says, "oh, gee - I don't have any money," so the bartender beats the crap out of him and kicks him out again. Next day, same bar, same bartender, same drunk - "I wanna buy everyone in here a shot of whiskey. But not one for you." Bartender says, "How come no shot for me this time?" Drunk says, "because you get violent when you drink."
 

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